Isn't it a Mercy?

When I was pregnant with my first baby, I was struggling greatly in the final weeks. General pain and discomfort, restless legs, little sleep, and all manner of other symptoms you’d rather not hear about. The few times I expressed how difficult that time was, I was met with well-meaning encouragement such as, “This is only a short time, baby will come when she comes.” And that message of patience was certainly apt advice, but I was left feeling like no one really gets it. This is so hard. Each day is an eternity. Each night progresses in sleepless tears and desperate prayers. If I’m not dissociating watching TV or eating something, I am sobbing. Does no one see my suffering? Am I really that weak that I’m struggling so much more than other women?

A sweet and wise friend of mine, upon receiving my tearful update, remarked with warmth:

“Isn’t it a mercy how miserable these last few weeks are? Sometimes I think God allows us this pain so we are not so afraid of giving birth.”

And that thought stopped me in my tracks. Firstly, FINALLY someone admitted that this time really is miserable! I felt incredibly validated. But secondly, the idea that there was a reason for my pain, that it is a mercy, was like a thin but steady ray of light that I could fix my eyes on while I breathe through the pain. And it was absolutely true, I wasn’t meditating on how scared I was to give birth. There certainly was some fear, but mostly I was yearning for that day of labor. I was begging for each Braxton Hicks contraction to get longer, stronger, more frequent. I was ready for the pain, even longing for it.

This experience has a lot to say about how we relate to the suffering in our broken world on this side of eternity. Let me borrow my friend’s words and push them further:

“Isn’t it a mercy the suffering we experience in this broken world? Sometimes I think God allows us this pain so we are not so afraid of the death of this kingdom and the birth of the next.”

Scripture itself uses the analogy of birth in this way. It first validates the true suffering we experience, the suffering Christ condescended to experience with us. The passage below describes our time in this corrupted earth as “suffering,” “bondage,” and “futility.” It vividly discusses how all of creation groans as in the pangs of childbirth and we groan inwardly. However, scripture also projects the hope, the reason for these groanings, the glory and beauty of renewed, restored creation in renewed, restored bodies.

For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the sons of God. For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of him who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to corruption and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God. For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now. And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies.
Romans 8:19-23 (ESV)

So to all who suffer, to all who feel weak, to all who feel they cannot bear another minute without dissociating or numbing, know that your pain is not wasted. The world really is broken, the pain really is real. I think those who live through this pain understand something about this world that those who are comfortable often try to avoid: that things are not okay. It is easy to forget about the cosmic atrocity of sin when one feels happy, content and healthy. So in this terrible knowledge of the depth of the world’s evils, do not fear the end of this kingdom. As each new pain rolls over you, face it with joy through gritted teeth. As they become longer, stronger and more frequent, fix your eyes on this thin but steady ray of light: “Creation itself will be set free from its bondage to corruption and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God.” Romans 8:20b